Different pages

Occasionally, we are not on the same page at all, he and I. We were having a perfectly innocent conversation about sex and recovery after childbirth (in the context of a friend of his). "There's pretty much a month of recovery before you can have sex again" he informs. "Is that why they call it blowjob month?" I tease. "Uh... yeah, that's pretty much the last thing either of you are thinking about..." (well, he--being a dad twice over--would know). I give my best rakish smile and flick my eyebrows upward in the come-hither-waggle, "Speaking of blowjobs... I want to give you a blowjob right now". "I want to give you a baby". Oh. Well then. That is not the retort I expected to an offer of a perfectly good blowjob.

Changes

I am working on something very specific with the goal of healing not one person, but two who need it very much. I am one of those two persons. I will do the very best that I can on this. If you have been reading since the beginning, then you truly know that I desperately need to heal. If this succeeds. I will make some very specific changes in this blog. The first change will be that I will go back and remove certain posts. The second change will be to go back and edit certain posts. After that. On the presumption that this anger which has consumed me has been dealt with. The very tone of my blog posts will change. Now that is something I look forward to. So if you commented on a post that finds itself removed. Please do not take offense. I will freely admit that it will be selfish on my part to remove things that have been a source of pain, or a memory of that pain.

I can't Even

Why would anyone want to have sex in an airplane bathroom? I can't even fathom. Dirty, cramped... It's like so many other fits of sexual fancy; they're much, much better in theory than in practice. Sex on the beach? Sand in the crotch. In other news, it's so crazy-busy that this is the only picture I've managed to snap even though I've been camped out in hotel rooms for days now. What day is it, even? I have no idea.

Does it Bother anyone Else?

This morning I went into the kitchen and realised they were spraying the outside of the neighbouring house with insect pesticides. I don't even want to think about the chemicals that drifted into the house while I was unaware. There's something rather special about standing in the kitchen watching them literally hose off the gutters to the stage of dripping with something toxic. I shut all the windows, for whatever good that will do.

And now, here's something further to think about... all those vegies and herbs I've planted on that side of the yard. What kind of withholding period, what do I do about toxic soil, do I uproot all of the plants that are short term crops? There are just so many parameters for growing your own edible garden that you can't control. Guess I won't be making basil pesto today after all, let alone working in the garden. Had I been at work I may have come home and picked a nice bowl of vegie insecticide to munch on. Then again, how many times have I done that already.

In some parts of the world there is legislation that means that you have to provide notice to your neighbours before applying sprays... and even put up signposts so that people who are passing by are aware. Now that's the kind of legislation that should be everywhere. The whole issue on "drift" is a difficult one, things can spread within a kilometre radius and how would you ever know in many cases and there is very little you can do about it.